


"How NOT To Be Stupid Around Ghosts"

by ZombieMerlin



Series: Danny the ViewTuber [9]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Youtube AU, uhh idk i'll come back and add more tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25770814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieMerlin/pseuds/ZombieMerlin
Summary: "Hey, y'all! My name is Danny and I do parkour and other stuff on ViewTube. This video is gonna be 'other stuff.' Long story short? I'm proving to my parents that this channel can be, quote,educational. Despite the fact that I was fully under the impression that they know about my channel, they recently expressed concern over what I get up to. Which..."A few clips from previous videos play in succession, in which he's jumping off things, running after Samantha with Tucker in the woods, backflipping from high places, and jogging along fairly precarious surfaces. When the screen rests on his face again, he's bobbing his head in a conceding manner."...is a fair concern."
Series: Danny the ViewTuber [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1413250
Comments: 55
Kudos: 498





	"How NOT To Be Stupid Around Ghosts"

**Author's Note:**

> This is the video is referenced in Chapter 16 of  my other fic. You don't have to read that, tho.

**Playing ViewTube video: 'How Not to Be Stupid Around Ghosts'**

A [little whooshy sound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FLt2yAR8Fw) plays.The words "Danny Fenton: Parkour. Paranormal. Dares." It hangs there for a brief moment. Then, in a much smaller font, a few lines of text flash on the screen for a brief second. 

The viewer has to rewind and pause in order to read it: 

" _I'm trying out a new thing and I know 'dares' doesn't start with a 'p' but I couldn't think of anything else so lol. Maybe it'll be better next time? Probably not tho, lol. Standards? From me? I would never._ " 

The card changes to a video of Danny in his bedroom. Behind him, sunlight streams brightly through his window and illuminates a slightly messy room and space-themed posters. 

"Hey, y'all! My name is Danny and I do parkour and other stuff on ViewTube. This video is gonna be 'other stuff.' Long story short? I'm proving to my parents that this channel can be, quote, _educational._ Despite the fact that I was fully under the impression that they know about my channel, they recently expressed concern over what I get up to. Which..." 

A few clips from previous videos play in succession, in which he's jumping off things, running after Samantha with Tucker in the woods, backflipping from high places, and jogging along fairly precarious surfaces. When the screen rests on his face again, he's bobbing his head in a conceding manner. 

"...is a fair concern." 

He rubs his neck and laughs sheepishly, before perking up. "So! I brainstormed for a while and came up with a video concept." 

The screen changes to black. Cheesy fanfare accompanies the sound of his voice, and he reads the words aloud as they appear onscreen. 

"How _not_ to be stupid around ghosts!" he declares proudly. "This is gonna be a nice little do's and don'ts video, because I figure this town needs a little education on ghosts. How am I an authority? I have a trusted source." 

He smiles mischievously and wiggles his eyebrows at the camera for a moment before continuing. 

"This video is accompanied by beautifully drawn images courtesy of my friends Sam and Tucker. There are two very distinct art styles here, and I will not identify which of my friends did which. You are free to guess if you want. This was also an experiment in stop-motion animation, so forgive me if things are kinda rough." 

A black title card displaying the first tip appears. 

**"Tip Number 1: _DO_ run away from a ghost if you are in danger, or at least get out of blasting range. _DON'T_ run around in circles and scream." **

The video is now aimed at a surface that is presumably Danny's desk. A cutout paper image of an impressively-drawn, blob-like ghost appears on the desk. A crudely-drawn picture of a few screaming stick figures follows suit. 

Danny's voice makes a hilariously unconvincing "rawr" sound, and the paper ghost wiggles back and forth a little. Several recordings of Danny's voice screaming unenthusiastically layer over themselves. The stick figures scatter and move around in circles around the ghost. 

"I understand that you're panicked, okay?" Danny says as the camera refocuses on his face. "But constantly alternating between running _away_ from the ghost and running _towards_ the ghost is kind of silly and, believe it or not, it doesn't actually get you out of harm's way. If you're gonna run, pick a direction and stick to it. You'll be surprised at how far you can get." 

**"Tip Number 2: _DO_ exit the building in a timely fashion. _DON'T linger and antagonize the ghost!"_**

"This is what you should be doing," Danny says. 

The ghost picture from the previous tip appears again, and makes another quiet "rawr." 

"Oh, no! A ghost!" one of the stick figures says. "Let's leave this place quickly!" 

"Yes, this is the reasonable thing to do!" another one with a slightly higher voice says. 

"I agree! Let's get out of here!" says a third. Its voice is comically deeper than the other two despite being the shortest of the figures present. 

The crowd of stick figures wiggles off-screen en masse. 

Danny stares down at his desk and nods. "Good job, little people!"

He looks back up at the camera. "This is what you should _not_ be doing." 

The stick figures and ghosts have reset their positions on the screen. 

"Rawr!" says the ghost.

"Hey, ugly!" says the deep-voiced stick figure.

"Hmm?" the ghost answers.

"You're ugly! Why don't you _ghost_ on outta here, eh? Ha ha ha!" 

The stick people laugh along with the first. The ghost is silent for a long moment. The camera zooms into its face as the pitch of the laughter deepens and the audio slows down. The result is the sound slowly becoming more and more demonic, and the tint of the screen reddens. 

Then, there's a loud screeching noise as the ghost rushes the figures. The camera shakes violently and the clip ends in the midst of their screaming. 

"Listen, y'all," Danny says. "Don't. Antagonize. The ghost. Just don't! Phantom uses witty banter and jokes or whatever, but it's also his _job_ to keep the town safe. He knows what he's doing! Usually. Sometimes he's just messing around, yeah, but sometimes he's intentionally baiting the ghost into a trap." 

He pauses, then sighs. "Alright, _usually_ he's messing around, but Phantom can handle a ghost's anger. You, on the other hand? I'm not trying to insult your abilities or anything, but compared to the average person watching this, Phantom has a lot more experience dealing with ghosts. Kinda makes sense cause he _is_ a ghost." 

"And, while we're at it, don't tell the ghost to stop monologuing 'cause you're bored! Certain ghosts like to blather on about their plans or whatever, and that's _the best time_ for you to get away. Take the technology ghost Technus for example. He'll get so wrapped up in his speech that he doesn't notice anything else is going on. Why would you snap the ghost out of that and bring their attention back to you? I don't understand that. You could get hurt." 

He wags a finger at the camera. "Stop it!" 

**"Tip Number 3: _DO_ let Phantom fight ghosts in peace. _DON'T_ run up and declare yourself his new sidekick." **

A very poorly drawn image of Phantom is one of the images this time. The viewer can only really tell who it is because of the spiky gray hair, the green circles that are supposed to be his eyes, and the oversized gray gloves and boots. 

Danny's voice makes noises that are likely supposed to be fighting sounds, and Phantom and the blob repeatedly bump into each other. Occasionally, a little green candy will appear on one of Phantom's hands and zip towards the other ghost, likely to represent the ghostly green energy he uses to attack. ****

Another stick figure appears onscreen, this one noticeably better-drawn than Phantom or the other stick figures in the video. The person is wearing a blue cape and a yellow mask and stands proudly with their hands on their hips.

"Don't worry, Phantom! I'll save you!" declares the newcomer.

"What?" Phantom says, sounding alarmed. "No, don't—"

The enemy ghost rears back and knocks Phantom off-screen, and he goes flying back with a " _Whoooa!"_

"Oh. Uh. Sorry?" the 'sidekick' says. 

The screenchanges back to Danny. He's staring at the camera with an unimpressed look on his face. "Seriously, y'all. Please. Admittedly this hasn't happened in a while, but still. I'm sure Phantom appreciates your passion and your willingness to help out, but one way of looking at this is that you're putting him at risk if he was to worry about keeping you safe _and_ protecting the ghosts. Which leads me to my next point." 

**"Tip Number 4: _DO_ watch the fight from a safe distance if you insist on sticking around. _DON'T_ throw condiments like garlic or salt from the sidelines." **

The enemy ghost and Phantom are fighting again in the corner of the screen. More prominently featured are a couple of the badly-drawn stick figures. One is armed with a realistic rendering of a salt shaker. The other holds a circle with green spikes on top. The circle might be garlic.

"Hi-ya!" the stick person with the salt shaker says. It flies across the screen and hits the enemy ghost in the back of the head. It stops attacking Phantom and turns, making a confused sound.

"Take that!" the other figure says, throwing the garlic blob. It misses the enemy ghost and hits Phantom.

The stick people and the ghosts stare at each other for a long, quiet moment.

"Did you just throw salt at me?" the enemy ghost says.

"Um. Yeah?" the offending figure says.

The camera flips back to Danny, who is laughing so hard he has nearly fallen off of his chair.

"Alright," he says as he calms down. "That was a little ridiculous, but my point still stands. Condiments as a ghost defense are a myth. It doesn't work. It just makes you look kinda silly. Also, if you're doing this to The Lunch Lady, it will actually just make her _stronger._ Maybe save the salt for your fries, okay?" 

**"Tip Number 5: _DO_ use your Pocket Masters _in self-defense._ But again: _DON'T_ try to help out with a fight!" **

"Once again. This is what you _should_ be doing." 

A stick figure walks across the screen, humming a happy tune. The enemy ghost blob appears suddenly in their path. 

"Eeek! A ghost!" the figure says. A little gray rectangle with red at one end appears in the figure's hand. This is Danny's representation of the Pocket Master. "Stay away from me, ghost!" 

A red piece of yarn appears and comes out of the little rectangle and hits the ghost, who squeals and wiggles off-screen. 

"That probably won't work for long. I should get out of here!" the figure says. It runs in the opposite direction. 

"This is what you _shouldn't_ be doing," comes Danny's voice again.

The ghosts are once again fighting in the corner. Instead of condiments, this time the accompanying stick figures are both holding the bootleg depictions of Pocket Masters. 

"Let's help Phantom!" on figure says. 

"Yeah, let's linger in this fight for longer than we need to instead of doing just enough to keep ourselves safe!" 

"This is a perfectly rational course of action!"

"AAAAAAH!" 

"AAAAAAH!"

With twin battle cries, the two stick figures start firing wildly into the ghost fight. The image on the screen shakes wildly as chaos is assumed and red tint slowly grows in intensity.

**"Tip Number 6: _DO_ stay away from weird shadows. _DON'T_ follow the strange shadows into the darkness."**

The screen is entirely black this time, with nothing but two menacing white eyes glowing out from the shadows. The camera slowly and ominously zooms into the eyes as Danny speaks. 

"No matter how inviting it seems. Just... don't." 

**"Tip Number 7: _DO_ keep an eye out. _DON'T_ touch mysterious ghostly artifacts." **

"This one needs a bit of explaining," Danny says. "Just. Watch out for the people around you sometimes, I guess? If your best friend's eyes change color suddenly, usually to bright green or red, they might be overshadowed by a ghost. Or if they start acting strangely, or _especially_ if their voice sounds like a different person's. One of those thing might tip you off. It's not really set in stone, though? Sometimes they do a good job imitating the person they're overshadowing and you can't tell the difference. 

Now, if you realize someone has been overshadowed and you have a Pocket Master, then you should just be able to put it on a low setting, aim, and push the ghost out without hurting the person. 

As far as ghostly artifacts go, just don't touch things you shouldn't. You know? If it looks old and menacing, just don't touch it. Simple." 

**"Tip Number 8: _DO_ be nice. _DON'T_ let yourself be manipulated by a ghost." **

"This is gonna sound kinda weird," Daniel says. "But here's the last tip: _DO_ be nice. _DON'T_ let yourself be manipulated by ghosts." 

"Ghosts are people, too. Not 'were.' _Are._ Most ghosts aren't even that bad, and just want to be left alone. Sometimes the ones that come to Amity Park are the ones that wanna cause trouble, but sometimes they just need help or they're running away from something. Sometimes, they just want a change of scenery. Whatever the reason is, there are just as many good ghosts as there are bad. Think like Poindexter on the news the other day; he's just a kid my age who wants to look out for people. Say hi if you see him." 

"That being said... don't let yourself be manipulated. I meant it when I said some of the ghosts who come to Amity Park want to cause trouble or have some darker goal in mind.If they're trying to get you to do things for them or get weird stuff, that probably should be a red flag. _Especially_ if they get angry when you say no." 

"Alright, y'all, that's it. Um. I dunno how to end this so... Fenton, out. Bye!" 

The screen goes to a black screen with the word "bye" in large white text. It's accompanied by [some music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMtR934L_LE&feature=youtu.be&t=8). 

For a split second after the music goes quiet, the screen flashes a small paragraph in the corner of the screen. Then, the video ends. 

Rewinding and pausing on the single frame takes several attempts. When the viewer is successful, they find the paragraph reads:

_"The really bad stick figures were done by Sam who refused to spend more than 15 seconds on each one, lmao. My man Tucker did the other ones, tho, go follow his art page @TFart on PicGrammy. Yes, that's not the greatest handle, no I haven't been able to convince him to change it. While you're here, also go read some of Sam's writing on her website, link in the description."_

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! The Lancer fic? Fenton enigma or whatever the heck I named it, lol. Keep an eye out for something on Tuesday. I wanted to write everything else that was unwritten and I now only have one chapter left that I actually have to write, which means I have a 6-chapter buffer, which means weekly posting again instead of this "post and abscond" thing I've been doing, lol
> 
> uhhh that's kinda it. This is unbeta'd. I'm probably shouldn't have posted this yet but whatever I guess? I just wanted to post something. Kinda in a weird mood right now. 
> 
> also heads up, changing my Ao3 name to Zombie Merlin soon. If that's possible. We'll see. also i turned on comment moderation 'cause uhh there's a person i don't wanna interact with. so. haha mmkay byee!! if there's a mistake please let me know!!
> 
> EDIT: OMG I forgot to mention, many of the tips were suggested by the lovely people in the DP Fanfiction Palace discord! Thank y'all!!


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